words hurt!

Do words hurt?  It depends on who you are asking; the person hearing the words, or the one saying those words. The perpetrator may say that "It's just words" or "I really didn't mean it", but the damage has already been done. We were told as children over and over from our parents that "Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will never hurt us.”  Well I am here to tell you, that this saying is a lie.

Why do I know this for sure, well I looked firstly at the alarming bullying statistics in Australia, then I looked at the rising youth suicide rates and then looked at the phenomenal media exposure on the Timanhu Tahu and Andrew John’s saga to come to this conclusion. All of these things are all based on people using words to hurt, to scar and to demoralise other people. Words hurt and the constant use of certain words can wear away at a person’s self worth. The old saying should be changed to “Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts.” Children kill themselves from being called names, and as we all just saw Tahu turned his back on a childhood dream all because of words.

Andrew Johns allegedly used various derogatory words in relation to Aboriginal players at a team bonding session. Tahu more than likely spent his childhood dreaming about playing in a State of Origin by night and by day fighting schoolyard bullies who called him names based on his race. Tahu chose to stand up to his idol and a man who is regarded as the most successful Rugby League player of all time and directly say to him that racism is totally unacceptable. Racism in this instance came in the form of using certain words in a pub environment. A place many of us have been before and if we are honest, we have heard these types of words being bantered around.

The only people who can say whether certain derogatory words hurt are the people from that particular minority group. I was born with a physical disability and I use a wheelchair for longer distances. Growing up, I was fortunate enough not to endure consistent bullying, however I was bullied a few times. When I was bullied, the bullies always used the same words to taunt me, and these words will be difficult for me to type. I need to distinguish these words to educate people on why these words need to be removed from your vocabulary and more essentially from your children’s vocabulary. As currently these words are used daily by your children simply because they don’t understand what these words mean and where they have originated from. The words that I am finding hard to type and the words which make my stomach churn are ‘spastic,’ ‘retard,’ and ‘spaz.’ These words are used commonly and carelessly by my educated friends. They have become a part of their daily dialogue. My Pilates instructor uses these words every session to describe a client who messes up an exercise. In this rehabilitation context it baffles me how she can use these words, however I have come to realize that people use these words because they have absolutely no idea what they mean to people with disabilities, and the hurt these words carry from their past.

The word spastic usually refers to a person with cerebral palsy or someone who has uncontrollable spasms.  In India the word "spastic" is also used neutrally, with The Spastic Society of India being India’s most noted non-profit organization working for neuro-muscular and developmental disabilities.

In the UK it is considered an offensive way to refer to the disabled and In American slang, the term "spaz" is largely inoffensive, and is generally understood as a casual word for clumsiness, sometimes associated with over excitement, excessive energy, or hyperactivity. 

The difference in understanding of the term between British and American audiences was highlighted by an incident with the golfer Tiger Woods,  after losing the US Masters Tournament in 2006, he said, "I was so in control from tee to green, the best I've played for years... But as soon as I got on the green I was a spaz." His remarks were broadcast and drew no attention in America. But they were widely reported in England, where they caused offence and were condemned by a prominent Paralympian.  On learning of the furor over his comments, Woods' representative promptly apologized.

Mental retardation is a generalized disorder, characterized by significantly impaired cognitive functioning and it has historically been defined as an intelligence quotient score under 70.

The words retard and retarded are used too casually and much too frequently, even by people who are educated and really should know better.

Words that used to be common in certain groups and said without thought have often been replaced by more acceptable words. Thanks to the Civil Rights Movement, bias based on someone's race is slowly disappearing from conversation. The discrimination may still exist in some cultures, but it is fading, and soon hopefully it will be gone forever.

We all can help end use of the words retard and spastic, by objecting to them when we hear them. It is discriminatory, hurtful, and offensive. It should not be accepted in society.